Modern Technology: Peter Pan’s Dream: "I'll Never Grow Up?"

Peter Pan became a fantasy icon through his determination to never grow up. He was determined to remain a child forever, free of adult responsibilities and worries. He would have fit well into the modern technological world.

“A hundred years ago”, as my husband is fond of saying, going off to college was the Great Divide—the break between childhood and the world of adults. A young person would now plan and execute his own schedule, find his own friends and “place in the sun”, and manage his own money. As an adult, she would pick out her own clothes, cook her own food, and decorate her own dorm room. (I bought a blanket, put my boyfriend’s picture on the shelf and taped a picture of my family on my dorm room mirror. Done.) We were independent. We called home from a pay phone or our dorm room phones, with their 6 foot cords, once a month. At a cost of $2/minute, when money was more expensive and less available, we did our business and were off in 5 minutes. College was a make-it-or-break-it experience—you sank or swam, but you did it on your own.

What a difference a few decades makes. Is anybody independent anymore?

In a ten minute sojourn across the BYU campus recently, I heard no less that four fresh young students, male and female, carrying on conversations with their moms. “But mom, it was only a dollar more than I planned.”  “Hey, mom, did you get that picture I sent to your phone? Does that shirt go with my brown skirt?” I didn’t say that, mom, all I said to him was…”  “No, I didn’t do my homework last night because I went to a dance, but I will.”

What happened to growing up? Making your own decisions? Embracing independence?

During my college years I had a roommate that hadn’t cut the apron strings. Charlotte was an only child, the product of an obviously over-dominant mother and an obviously under-dominant father. She talked to her mom at least an hour every night, long distance to Arizona, about everything: every person she talked to, what she wore that day, and how she did her hair—they didn’t discuss grades much. The general consensus from the other five of us in the apartment was that she was weird, couldn’t do for herself, and wouldn’t have a life, as things were going. (Let it also be said--there was a great deal of resentment because she tied up the apartment’s only phone so those hordes of boys trying to date us couldn’t get through.)

By today’s standards, Charlotte is normal. Texting, cell phone cameras, facebook and twitter keep mom and her chicks connected at the ears, eyes, and fingertips. Suzie needn’t make any decisions for herself. She can text mom—and she does. Why think, experiment, risk a little, or develop your own tastes when a text is faster?

How do the mothers feel about this? Did they have things they wanted to do after the kids were gone? In today’s techie world, will they ever be gone?

Sound society and wise government depend on youth with insight and skills to replace those of us who are on the way out. The purpose of parenthood is to prepare youth for their leadership years in government, business, and the family. How can we trust our Constitution, our government, and our culture to those who haven’t yet figured out which shirt goes with which skirt?

Time passes, the old get wrinkled and the young blossom. Let us hope that the Charlotte Syndrome is a passing fancy, that young people learn to take risks and “go for it”, and that the Great Divide becomes a reality soon.

Freedom + Morality = Liberty

Freedom + Morality = Liberty

In the years leading up to the Declaration of Independence, the British colonies in America were engaged in a deep and spirited debate. The need for independence peeked around history’s corner, and inklings of the coming separation from Britain whispered gently to the minds of great colonial patriots. A resident fear lurked in the discussion: were the American people sufficiently moral and virtuous—dedicated to living by the standards of right and wrong that protect all people—to warrant independence? Only after prolonged public debate did the great patriots believe it was safe to move forward with a freedom initiative.

These great men knew that Freedom and Liberty are not the same thing. While the colonies could declare freedom, they must have liberty in order to succeed as a new and independent nation. They understood that while freedom is the child, liberty is the seasoned adult. Their goal, given the pathway to reality in 1787 in the U.S. Constitution, was liberty.

Today we mistakenly confuse the two, thinking they are synonyms; that freedom is the end goal. Freedom—the right to choose—is an inalienable right, meaning God gave it to us, beginning in the Garden of Eden. Some believe we are free to do whatever we want. While technically this is true, practically and morally it is not. With it comes a duty; we must use our freedom so we don’t injure others.

Our inalienable rights include all we need to live well: the right to select our leaders, earn and keep property, move about freely, protect ourselves and be protected by law, and speak freely, to name a few.  Most of us use these rights well and society runs smoothly. However, if we are allowed to earn and keep our property, we must allow others to do so; if we can move about freely we must allow others the same, unless their unwise actions demand confinement. If we want law to protect us, it must protect all of us. These are our duties.

Liberty is the natural result of using freedom wisely—the appropriate exercise of the duty and right together. Liberty is freedom wisely used. Like sourdough, freedom is the starter for liberty, and is used to create it.

It is not freedom, but liberty—the two combined—that gives us the ability to appropriately govern ourselves. When the vast majority of us join these two “twin sisters”, as founding father James Wilson named them, we can be trusted to govern ourselves; we deserve trust. When freedom is used unwisely, to hurt others or only for our own wants, liberty always dies. Then we require masters.

A few people will always misuse their rights. The challenge is to correct the misuse while we protect the right. Too often, in a knee-jerk reaction to individual incidents, we take away the right of personal choice from all of us. For example, with an estimated 270 million firearms in the U.S.—89 guns for every 100 people—we have only a handful of gun incidents or accidents daily. Despite millions of Americans who, day after day wisely handle guns, government threatens us with losing our right to own weapons of protection.

If liberty is available only when freedom is perfectly applied, it will never survive. From the beginning of time there have been tragic accidents and reprobates; everybody never does everything right. Our American rule of law is by the majority, not the fractional minority. Taking guns from all because a few misuse them is not rational.

Liberty is our goal. With it all else falls into place.