Peter Pan became a fantasy icon through his determination to
never grow up. He was determined to remain a child forever, free of adult
responsibilities and worries. He would have fit well into the modern
technological world.
What a difference a few decades makes. Is anybody independent anymore?
In a ten minute sojourn across the BYU campus recently, I
heard no less that four fresh young students, male and female, carrying on
conversations with their moms. “But mom, it was only a dollar more than I
planned.” “Hey, mom, did you get that
picture I sent to your phone? Does that shirt go with my brown skirt?” I didn’t
say that, mom, all I said to him was…”
“No, I didn’t do my homework last night because I went to a dance, but I
will.”
What happened to growing up? Making your own decisions? Embracing
independence?
During my college years I had a roommate that hadn’t cut the
apron strings. Charlotte was an only child, the product of an obviously over-dominant
mother and an obviously under-dominant father. She talked to her mom at least
an hour every night, long distance to Arizona, about everything: every person
she talked to, what she wore that day, and how she did her hair—they didn’t
discuss grades much. The general consensus from the other five of us in the
apartment was that she was weird, couldn’t do for herself, and wouldn’t have a life,
as things were going. (Let it also be said--there was a great deal of
resentment because she tied up the apartment’s only phone so those hordes of
boys trying to date us couldn’t get through.)
By today’s standards, Charlotte is normal. Texting, cell
phone cameras, facebook and twitter keep mom and her chicks connected at the
ears, eyes, and fingertips. Suzie needn’t make any decisions for herself. She
can text mom—and she does. Why think, experiment, risk a little, or develop
your own tastes when a text is faster?
How do the mothers feel about this? Did they have things
they wanted to do after the kids were gone? In today’s techie world, will they ever be gone?
Sound society and wise government depend on youth with
insight and skills to replace those of us who are on the way out. The purpose
of parenthood is to prepare youth for their leadership years in government,
business, and the family. How can we trust our Constitution, our government,
and our culture to those who haven’t yet figured out which shirt goes with
which skirt?
Time passes, the old get wrinkled and the young blossom. Let
us hope that the Charlotte Syndrome is a passing fancy, that young people learn
to take risks and “go for it”, and that the Great Divide becomes a reality
soon.